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The five levels of intensity and five suction patterns also create a wide range of sensations. The Dame Aer is the first air-suction toy that we’ve liked better than our previous picks from Womanizer (the first brand to offer this technology). It’s significantly smaller and narrower than the Womanizer Classic we also like, and it’s made from a softer silicone material that’s more comfortable against the body. Most notably, of all the suction toys we’ve tried, the Aer produces a sensation that feels most similar to oral sex, according to our testers.

Instead, keep talking, in that first conversation and later on, about the kinds of sensations you both enjoy or are interested in exploring and how you could see toys playing into the sex you already have. Encourage each other to think outside the box of genital stimulation. From that place of understanding, you can start to dive more fully into toys. Bringing sex toys into partnered sex can open up entirely new realms of pleasure for everyone involved. Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a queer sex educator and wellness journalist who is committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. In addition to Healthline, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more!

Unfortunately, the suction feels somewhat weak